


Holmes

by SimplyAlexei



Category: James Bond (Craig movies), Sherlock (TV), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Crossover, Darcy Holmes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-21
Updated: 2018-03-21
Packaged: 2019-04-05 12:29:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14044293
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SimplyAlexei/pseuds/SimplyAlexei
Summary: A look into the family life of one Darcy Lewis, née Holmes.





	Holmes

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is heavily inspired by Family Oddness by viridianaln9 (Fanfiction.net) and Home by Blinded_Kit (AO3). I fell in love with both crossover fics as soon as I read them and wanted to try my hand at something similar!

Darcy Lewis was a lot more like her brothers than anyone gave her credit for. Granted, she was neither sociopathic nor was she an emotionally detached asshole, but she  _ was _ incredibly intelligent and had a spectacular knack for reading people. The thing is that other people were inherently stupid and only saw what they wanted to see. They took in her cavalier attitude and assumed it a sign that she was somehow intellectually less than them. Sure, like her brothers before her, she found that the knowledge of things such as stars and planets to be understimulating and useless, or rather she did before a literal space god came shooting out of a rainbow portal and into her life, but she  _ was _ a graduate student on track to getting her Masters degree two years early. Still, her acute understanding of the human psyche allowed her the ability to throw everyone off of her metaphorical trail, and her talent with computer technology and coding allowing her to throw them off of the physical one as well. Even if Jane was considered a kook among the science community (which translated to “interesting” in Darcy speak), Darcy was certainly not the only applicant for her internship. A little cyber nudge that sent the other applications to a false email and viola! Darcy gets her last six credits, and Jane gets someone who can come behind her and make sure that her machines aren’t gonna blow up (even if she didn’t know that Darcy was tinkering with them behind her back; and no, more duct tape was not always the right answer). Not to mention that Darcy was able to whip up an entirely new identity for their resident six-pack thunder god. She fabricated false documentation that was so convincing that even SHIELD was unable to find any fault in them. Even now, they were still chasing their tail trying to find where it had all come from.

She was more proud of “Donald Blake” than she had ever been with “Darcy Lewis”

So, yeah. Darcy was as capable and as intelligent, if not as accomplished as her brothers. She had been able to evade them and their overbearing attitudes for years without so much as a close call. Why then, was the oldest of said brothers sitting across from her in a tiny, half-destroyed New Mexico diner?

She sighed, taking a sip of her cooling tea. Jane may have survived on coffee alone, but Darcy preferred a nice Earl Grey over the bean-based beverage. “How did you find me?” She asked, cutting straight to the point. “I didn’t think that I was making it that easy for you to abuse those government powers of yours and track me.”

“Oh, it wasn’t for lack of trying, dear sister, but in this instance I can assure you it wasn’t your actions that made for this delightful reunion. In fact, it wasn’t even you I was tracking. That was just a pleasant coincidence.” He chuckled as Darcy raised a brow at him, not quite believing his assurances. “No, a certain overrated  government security agency has taken a keen interest in your new… acquaintances. I was curious what all the fuss was about.”

“Thor,” she conceded.

“Not just so. Foster is a name that has been making its rounds among the higher ups as well.”

“Oh, Jane’s going to hate that.” She pursed her lips, partially due to the conversation, but mostly because her tea was cooling to a point where not even the burn on temperature could distract from the fact that it just wasn’t as good as back home. 

“I inferred as much.”

Another sigh. “Can you get to the point, Mycroft? Why are you really here? Visiting me? In an American diner? Don’t you have a government to play puppet with?” 

“I can’t just want to chat with my dearest younger sister?”

“Of course you  _ can _ . But you and I both know that you  _ wouldn’t _ . You’re no Danforth. Even Sherlock has a higher likelihood of reaching out to me without some sort of ulterior motive. You don’t ‘just chat’.”

“Much has changed in your absence, dear sister.”

“Not  _ that _ much.”

He laughed, a condescending sound that always grated at her nerves. It was a sound that she had had the pleasant experience of _ not  _ having to hear since running off to get her education in peace. 

“I simply wish for your health and safety,” he assured her. “You reside in a town nearly leveled by extraterrestrials after just barely escaping a college only recently attacked by a scientific anomaly. Sherlock’s jeopardy friendliness holds nothing over your own.” Of course he knew about Culver now. Once he found her alias it would have been no issue backtracking to what she had been up to since leaving. “I am surprised that you remained hidden under such an obvious name. You have my kudos for that.” 

“I figured it was so obvious that you thought even me too intelligent to use it.” Nevermind that she still went in and blocked any and all information of her new persona from his regular database searches just in case.

“Clever.”

“A trait I certainly don’t get from you.”

* * *

 

Being stuck in a bunker in the middle of Nowhere-Norway was perhaps the most boring, unstimulating thing that Darcy had had to sit through in a long while. She and Jane had been initially cut off from any internet access upon arrival; after SHIELD dropped them on their asses to a group of Norwegian scientists who had no idea who the women even were, much less what they were doing there. Yeah, because  _ that’s  _ not suspicious at all. The lack of wifi was no big deal to Darcy, who was able to hack into the super-secret-satellite-access of their definitely- _ not _ -super-secret-SHIELD-guards masquerading as other scientists. Seriously, no actual genius scientists that Darcy had ever met were that socially well-adjusted. SHIELD really needed to up its game and get its agents some basic acting lessons. 

So, yes. Darcy was utterly bored. Yeah, she had access to browsing her favorite mindless social media sites (and trying to figure out what exactly was the reason she and Jane had been dropped in the middle of nowhere, despite Jane's conviction that nothing nefarious was going on), but it wasn’t like she could actually contribute to the web from her accounts without SHIELD catching on. Sure, she was currently invisible and could surf their server with ease, but they’d obviously catch on if she made a facebook post explaining how UTTERLY BORED she was.

She was skimming through John’s latest blog post on a recent case of Sherlock’s when something interesting finally happened. A grunt and a thump through a nearby wall could barely be heard, and that only due to Darcy’s close proximity to its apparent source. Her hand went immediately to the taser at her hip, a temporary one replacing the original that had been left behind in New Mexico because of the TS-fucking-A. You would think that SHIELD would at least spot them a private jet while trying to brush them out of the way of whatever they were up to, but no. They had to take a 20+ hour series of flights, Economy style. Tasers weren’t even technically legal in Norway anyway, but a little black market dealing never  _ seriously _ hurt anyone. Not like anyone was actually paying attention to the comic relief sidekick/lab assistant to stop her anyway (they still hadn’t been able to trace Donald Blake to her; Danforth was so proud).

Glancing back at the cluster of astrophysicists across the room who were too involved in their Science!ing to notice anything amiss, Darcy crept closer toward the nearby door that lead to the hall where the sounds had come from.

Why did the door have to be so goddamn squeaky?

There were no obvious signs of a struggle, but that meant nothing in the super secret world of spyssassins. In fact, the most suspicious thing was that it was so quiet. Where there had generally been two or three “scientists” loitering in the hall since their arrival, there were none.

Darcy sighed, deciding against her better judgement to check around the corner for the pile of unconscious bodies she suspected were piled up there. “We haven’t even been here half a day,” she muttered to herself. “I swear to Thor that if someone is attacking us right now, I’m going to-”

She was cut off by hand clamped firmly over her mouth and a rather well-toned arm wrapping around her chest and pulling her back. Gut instinct had her shoving her taser into the offender, kind of hoping it was one of the shield agents. Heimdal knew they deserved it. 

Instead of convulsing and releasing her like she had expected, the body behind her merely stiffened. The only thing that could be heard was the sound of their breaths and the crackling of the taser, which she was pretty sure she had shoved into his side so  _ why wasn’t he letting go and drooling on the floor? _

Her attacker released a final heavy breath into her ear, and her confusion grew as it formed the words, “ _ You’re _ Darcy.” She was freed from his grip and whipped around on him, taser still in hand. 

Damn, her attacker was hot. Did he seriously waltz in here in a tuxedo? If kidnapping was on the menu, she would gladly order it.

“Who the  _ fuck _ are you, and how do you know my name?” Unless he was SHIELD, but if he was shield, why would he knock out the guards? Not that she could actually prove he had done so because she hadn’t seen any bodies as of yet, but logical deduction led the assumption to be a valid one.

“Bond, James Bond.” Was he seriously flirting right now? Under normal circumstances, Darcy would have totally flirted back (those blue eyes begged her to) but she still had a scientist to protect (did she mention how his hair looked perfect for running her fingers through?).

“And?”

“I was sent to see to your… well being, and to stage a rescue if necessary.”

She paused, then scoffed as his words sunk in. “Did Mycroft sent you?”

“That pompous government official? Unlikely. You don’t appear to be his usual kind of acquisition.” So not that brother then. It wasn’t Sherlock either, because he would have just barged in himself. That only left one other option. She relaxed a touch.

“My brother sent you.” The blond agent’s forehead crinkled in confusion, and she couldn’t help but find it adorable. It looks like she and her brother had a similar taste in men.

“I don’t believe that you're thinking of the right-”

“Danforth. Q. Your quartermaster. The only brother who I’ve kept in touch with since moving, because if I hadn’t he would have sent you after me a long time ago.” she raised an eyebrow at his look of astonishment. “And, if I’m correct, he’s also the guy you’re currently banging.”

“I” he paused, and she could tell he didn’t believe her. Probably a very good agent then. Good, as in only the best for her favorite brother. John was nice though, and she was rather happy that Sherlock has found someone who balanced him out so well. “I didn’t realize he had any siblings.”

“Yeah, well how much does he know about  _ your _ family?” She shook her head. “Look, you don’t have to believe me, but just tell him I’m fine - A little pissed at certain overrated government security agencies, but fine - and that I’ll give him a call when I’m not illegally obtaining information from said organization via hacking that  _ I _ taught  _ him _ .” Before he could protest she added on, “don’t worry, it’s not MI6 I’m snooping around in - it’s not even the British, really.” She paused again, a thought occurring. “Did he make you something special to stop my taser from working?” The blond Bond gave a small nod and she broke out a wolfish grin in return. “Oh, he must  _ really _ like you.”

* * *

 

Really, she should have expected it. Galavanting around in London was one thing - she could easily pay off members of the Homeless Network to keep her presence on the down low, and Mycroft and Danforth didn’t particularly care to bother her as long as they actually knew what she was up to - but once something unusual cropped up Sherlock was guaranteed on the scene.

Her boss going missing for hours and then the God of Thunder sweeping her away with inter-realm travel moments after she pops up again? A little unusual to say the least. 

Frankly, she was surprised that he had managed to stay away as long as he did, but even that stunk of Mycroft’s involvement.  _ He _ certainly hadn’t wasted a second trying to spirit Darcy away from her loving, pop-tart addicted boss the moment they had stepped foot into the rainy city. Sherlock was, however, nowhere to be seen and she could only assume it was because her dear oldest brother arrange some sort of a goose chase for him to follow. 

So, maybe Darcy wasn’t so surprised that Sherlock hadn’t shown up in her viscinity until after the conclusion of the attempted Dark Elf invasion. While she’d been acutely of the possibility of him barging his way into the flat she shared with Jane almost as soon as the scientist had announced their relocation to London. The notion completely exited her mind as soon as the convergence really began to have an affect on her trip in town return-of-cut-space-prince-style because  _ she was busy with important shit, Mycroft. Go Away. _

“Aliens” the deep timbre of her brother’s voice cut through the clammer of SHIELD agents barking orders trying to take over the scene. How said brother had gotten past the clearly marked and clearly guarded police line was beyond even her.

“I thought you didn’t care for space?”

“That was when it was merely rocks.”

“It was never just rocks up there,” She chuckled. “Besides, wouldn’t the logical deduction be some sort of mass hallucination and clever video doctoring?”

He shrugged. “Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.”

Darcy held back a smile. For such a complicated man, Sherlock really was quite simple. She would hug him, but she knew that would be just a touch past his comfort level. 

A burst of movement just past where her brother’s tall form blocked her view caught her eye. She tilted her head to better see what it was and managed to grasp the image of John Watson being escorted away by Agent “Sleezebag” Sitwell. 

“Oi!” She pushed past Sherlock, ignoring his surprised grunt. “If you don’t want two other super secret agencies on your ass, I suggest you take your hands off that man!”

Sitwell looked up only to sneer as he realized who was addressing him. “Ms. Lewis.”

“Shit-well.”

“Do you really think it’s intelligent to threaten a government agent.”

“I’m not worried. In fact, I’m owed a couple favors I wouldn’t mind calling in.” She widened her stance, crossing her arms and letting an eyebrow raise in defiance. She felt her brother looming behind her and had to hold back another smile as a shadow crossed the agent’s face once he realized who her current back-up was. The Holmes name was recognizable across the world, even if the Lewis one wasn’t. Anyone in the big bad spy world knew of Mycroft Holmes, and almost as many were familiar with his younger brother (or rather, the most famous of his brothers, because if they knew the other it would likely end in their death if they didn’t have the proper security clearance). Safe to say, even if Sitwell didn’t know of the relationship between the two, Sherlock’s mere presence was enough to send him scurrying. Probably to a supervisor, but whatever.

“Wow,” Darcy breathed. “I should have you be all super intimidate-y behind me everytime I threaten a SHIELD lackey. It’s way more effective than when I’m alone.”

“Speak in proper sentences and I just might.” There was almost a smile that lifted the corner of his mouth despite the reprimand, and she would take it.

John’s stare flickered back and forth between the two. 

“I’m sorry,” he began. “I’m not quite understanding what’s happening right now.” He stuck his right hand out to Darcy. “John Watson,” He said in greeting.

She grinned. “Darcy Lewis.”

“Louis?” Sherlock’s inquiry interrupted any further introductions between the two.

She rolled her eyes. “I could hardly keep a low profile, much less keep off my my brothers’ radars if I introduced myself as Darcy Louis Holmes.”

He paused, processing and reprocessing deductions related to his younger sister with this new information. “Ah, the accent.” There was a glimmer of pride in his eyes.

“The accent,” she confirmed.

“Wait, hold on, Holmes?” John sputtered, not processing the information as elegantly as his companion.

“Yes, John. Keep up,” Sherlock huffed impatiently.

“You two are related?”

Darcy smiled, looping her arm through that of the consulting detective. “I’m happy to see you’ve been keeping my brother mostly out of too much trouble.”

“Brother?!” The look of utter shock on his face was absolutely adorable. “You have a sister? You never mentioned you had a sister!”

Sherlock shrugged. “Neither my sisters, nor my brothers came up as relevant past Mycroft.”

Darcy laughed. Now he was just being obvious for John’s sake.

“Brother _ s _ ?!”


End file.
